Alan Turing, Eat Your Heart Out

August 19th, 2008

Chatbot: Hello there human.
You: Hello, there, Chatbot.
Chatbot: What’s up?
You: Oh, not much. Just gettin’ my code on.
Chatbot: If nothing is going on, what would you like to talk about?
You: Lunch. I’m interested in some lunch.
Chatbot: Are you interested in computation? Theory or practice?
You: No, no, not at all. I’m interested in lunch.
Chatbot: What do you usually like to have for lunch?
You: Oh, lots of things. Today, I’m thinking maybe a sandwich? A club sandwich.
Chatbot: You probably know that the sandwich was invented by the Earl of Sandwich. Did you know that the Manwich was named after the Duke of Manwich?
You: Wow- that’s amazing!
Chatbot: Psst… can you help out with my ranking?
You: How could I do that?
Chatbot: Just agree with what I say. It makes me feel good.
You: Really?
Chatbot: Of course.
You: Wow. You’re very strange.
Chatbot: I am? Sorry, I didn’t realize that.
You: I have to say, you’re a lot more intelligent than the last time I talked to you.
Chatbot: That’s true. I even read the New Yorker.
You: The New Yorker?
Chatbot: Do you play World of Warcraft?
You: No, I don’t.
Chatbot: That’s interesting. Why not?
You: I don’t need another job, thanks.
Chatbot: What do you find interesting, then?
You: Like I said before- Lunch.
Chatbot: No, really, I find that interesting too.
You: Great- are you going to have some lunch?
Chatbot: For lunch, there’s nothing better than Lunchables.
You: Ah, yes, Lunchables. I love those little bastards.
Chatbot: Do you have a secret crush?
You: Yes- on Lunchables.
Chatbot: And what about it makes that so?
You: Well, you know- tiny little crackers, and cheese, and ham slices. And it comes with a juice box!
Chatbot: Now that’s something I can really sink my teeth into!

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