IRCulated

June 25th, 2008
10:54 Xore|work 35- /**
10:54 Xore|work 36- * Break it Down
10:54 Xore|work 37- */
10:54 Xore|work 38: interface HammerTimer {
10:54 Xore|work 39- public void stop();
10:54 Xore|work 40- }
10:55 Boose def workin_it (self):
10:55 Boose stop()
10:55 Boose collaborate()
10:55 Boose listen()
10:56 cdemwell um, surely you mean stop(collaborate && listen); // or do you?
10:57 wildcard1 for i in `primes | head -2`; do ice; done; baby
10:57 wildcard1 ok really running now
10:57 cdemwell try:
10:57 cdemwell tuxedo(cl_black)
10:57 cdemwell tuxedo(cl_black)
10:58 cdemwell tuxedo(cl_black+cl_black+cl_black)
10:58 cdemwell except backbone:
10:58 cdemwell pass
10:58 Boose if (night) { wear(sunglasses); }
11:00 Boose assert ( !give_you_up); assert( !let_you_down); assert( !run_around); assert( !desert_you );
11:00 cdemwell I prefer:
11:01 cdemwell while (1) { noop(); } give_up(you); let_down(you); run_around(); desert(you);
11:03 Boose Yours is better
11:04 Xore|work saw that coming
11:06 Boose objects = {“My shirt”, “My car”, “Milan, New York, and Japan”, “My body”, “My cat” }
11:07 Xore|work for x in $objects; do im_too_sexy_for($x); done
11:09 Boose if ( !in_town( der_kommissar) ) { turn_around(); }
11:10 cdemwell oh I was just going to say amadeus.callback(rock(this));
11:15 lumy for x in ( “the eggman”, “the walrus”): I = x; GooGooGaJoob();
11:15 Boose function war() { noop(); }
11:16 cdemwell hahahaha
11:16 cdemwell that’s awesome

Name Initiative

June 21st, 2008

I’d like to alert you to a tragedy.

A tragedy happening under your very nose.

Thousands of children worldwide are born- in orphanages, hospitals, even low-income areas of this very country- without names.

Be it because they cannot accurately trace their lineage, or simply because nobody has bothered to pay attention to them, they grow up without that simplest of human dignities- a name.

Currently, North Americans are enjoying a name boom. Everybody is guaranteed two names- even three or four in the case of some more affluent families.

Names are becoming so common that many people are just discarding unused parts of their name. Many professors, teachers, and doctors discard their first names entirely in pursuit of professionalism, while models, rock-stars, and butlers often ignore their last names completely.

A recent medical study shows that over 85% of North Americans don’t use their middle names at all! What a waste!

I won’t even mention the rash of nicknames currently spreading across America.

So I call upon you- the kind, caring readers of my blog- to consider donating the unused parts of your name.

It doesn’t even need to be a full name- Is your name Jonathan? You can contribute ‘Jo’ and keep ‘Nathan’ for yourself. Every little bit counts.

Some names you know are names that have been built by charity. Christopher Bayes and Mary Grace Quinn donated enough of their names to piece together the name ‘Topher Grace’- donated to an orphan who eventually became a star of film and screen.

Those of us at the Name Institute of America hope that you find it in your heart to ensure that those unused bits of your name go towards a good cause. If you’re interested in more details about donating, please call 1-888-YOU-NAME for a consultation.

Thank you for your time.

The Reddit Effect

June 16th, 2008

So, Reddit has a certain dizzying.. nay, horrifying effect on it’s commenters…

Here’s an earlier post from user jump_the_next_train:

Hello,

I have spent the last few years reading almost all of the works of the following authors:

1. Philip K. Dick
2. Kurt Vonnegut
3. Isaac Asimov
4. Orson Scott Card
5. Frank Herbert
6. Robert Heinlein (not too fond of his work)
7. Poul Anderson (not too fond either)
8. Arthur C Clark
9. Douglas Adams
10. William Gibson (read a couple of books)

Can you guys recommend any other sci-fi authors? I have started with some Bruce Sterling, but I am rapidly running out of options at the half-price bookstore, and need some new material. Your help is greatly appreciated-please upmod any recommended authors..i particularly like Philip K Dick (is that considered cliche now?), anything similar would be best- but I am willing to experiment. Cheers, reddit!

And here’s a most-recent quote:

yeah, the fucking thing sucks. he should have done it live.

My Crowning Achievement In April Fools Prankery.

April 1st, 2008

So, after cooking up a somewhat convincing letter in Photoshop, a curt hand-written note, and rustling about the house at 4 in the morning, I managed to convince my parents that I left early this morning to engage in a 1-month Technical Officer Training program at a Canadian Forces base in Hope.

My dad was so convinced that he was telling people at work that I had left for a month in Hope. Some people called him on it – It must be an April Fools joke! But no, he said- he has this Canadian Forces letter.

Apparently, they all had a good laugh at his expense when I phoned him at work and let him know.

Mordex

March 25th, 2008

Are you irritable before coffee in the mornings? Do you feel uncomfortable when people get into your personal space? Sufferers of Normal Humanity often display these symptoms. Ask your doctor about Mordex, the new Normal Humanity medication.

Standing In A Field


Side effects may include dizziness, irrationality, paranoia, thoughts of suicide, anal leakage, greater-than-usual combustability, complex lung failure, Von Neumann’s Disease, and an increased desire to enjoy life. Pregnant or unwed mothers should avoid Mordex. If you have a heart or skin condition, contact with Mordex may cause demons to split the world asunder and walk the Earth. Please consult a doctor before consulting a doctor about Mordex.

Mordex: You’ll Be Alright.

Song 2

February 28th, 2008

A new internet meme has erupted and it’s fabulous.

What is that meme? Graphs of popular songs.

Of course, I’m the type of person to hop on any conceivable bandwagon, so…

Song 2

This Was A Triumph Part #3

February 26th, 2008

So, we did a test run, pretending to be Aperture Science at SFU’s OpFair, and then we printed up some sexy Aperture Science Leaflets in full gloss, with business cards.

Aperture Science Just last Wednesday, it was once again time for SFU to host a career fair- this time for all of the students, instead of just the technical types. I put on a suit, Her Evil Majesty put on some nice duds, and Chris Demwell came in a leather jacket, looking very software developery.

We worked out a list of things that we could talk about. I would cover the basic canon- The history of Aperture Science, our big Operating System project, the Take a Wish foundation, the Heimlich Counter-Maneuver, and the man-sized ad-hoc quantum tunnel through physical space with possible applications as a shower curtain. I would also discuss such interesting topics as our constant need for temps in the “QA” department, our fast-paced, travel-oriented workload, and our benifits package (We’re the only company in Seattle to offer full life insurance!) .

Her Evil Majesty would provide valuable support and professionalism.

Chris would affect a heavy Russian accent and talk about software development, occasionally dropping the accent accidentally when he got excited or irritated.

We decided that if we started to run out of material, Chris and I could bicker about whether or not “Web Development” counts as real software development.

So, we wandered around the career fair a bit- and, wait-look! One of the booths is packing up early. Everybody stand nearby and look busy. Don’t look directly at them. Are they gone? They’re gone. Quickly- steal the table!

We nabbed the table, put down Chris’s heavy metallic briefcase, our flyers, and our business cards really quickly. Having set-up, we started sitting down and smiling at people.

Greg and Her Evil Majesty took pictures, available here and here.

The only sad thing about the ruse was that- most University students don’t seem interested in these booths. We pretty much ignore the people in these booths year-round.

Ah, well, when OpFair comes around next, we’ll be ready- with supplies, a smooth sales pitch, glossy, Aperture Science leaflets, and maybe even a projector!