So, yesterday, I bought 1 pound of Irish Breakfast tea from a local tea merchant.

I brought it home, filled my tea jars, and thought ‘whoa, that’s a lot of friggin’ tea. It had better be good’

Then, this morning, I made myself a cup.

Suspiciously.

Put some milk and sugar in. I ran out of loose-leaf Irish Breakfast months ago, it’s been nothin’ but tea bags for me…

Pressed the cup to my lips, gingerly took a sip, and … well… this happened.

Do you ever get that sinking feeling that you are becoming a stereotype? I do.

I’m a chubby computer guy. I live with my parents, have strong opinions about Linux, spend an obscene amount of time chatting on IRC, play video games, and read constantly. I read comics on the internet and spend more money annually on books than most people spend on food.

When I have a party with friends, I want there to be alcohol and food, yes, but also nerdy movies, board games, and video games.

I fix computers. For my family. For other people’s families. Once, I fixed a problem a dental hygienist was having with the office dental software, as part of a routine cleaning.

My first response, when given an arbitrary problem, is how I might try to design software to fix that problem. Sometimes that software already exists, and instead of being elated, I’m frustrated because I wanted to build it my way (dammit). I meet people to talk about code.

I love food. Love it. From the greasiest burger shack to five-star restaurants, I straight up derive joy from the act of eating. I can’t stand sports, I don’t exercise, and my job involves sitting in front of a computer screen for upwards of 10 hours a day. My leisure time involves sitting in front of a computer screen for at least another 5 hours.

I don’t watch television (unless I’ve downloaded it), I own a USB rocket launcher and Blaster (the Autobot). I have a pirate hat, and I fully intend to wear this pirate hat when I go to a party with my friends on Friday.

I want to learn more. In fact, I want to find ways to improve on my ability to learn so that I can learn faster. I want to learn accounting. I want to learn Chinese. I want to learn about AI, emergent algorithms, statistics, scalability, user interface design, and typography. I want to write my own webcomic, but my standards of quality are much higher than my artistic or writing abilities. I want to build robots. I want to write books. I want to explore the world. I want to share my knowledge with others. I want to live forever in an immortal robot body. I want to drill a hole in my brain and connect it directly to the internet. I want a box full of donuts. I want space travel, and ecological reform, and to live comfortably in a small-but-efficiently-organized space. I want to spend more time outside, but there’s pretty much ‘no outside worth spending time in’ in my slice of suburbia.

So, I’ve pretty much come to terms with the fact that I am a stereotype. I’m “that guy”. Most of my friends are, too. Thanks to my limited social circle, I sometimes forget that normal people aren’t like that. There are people out there who wear suits and like to talk on the phone. I find both the suit and the phone unbearably awkward. There are people out there who do not read anything, people who have never had a pointless online argument, people who enjoy watching televised sports. People who have never played complicated, rule-oriented strategy games or caused a computer to explode. I’m even dating one of them. I love her, but sometimes she’s a mystery to me.

So… I’m a geek, a nerd, part of the glasses-and-pocket-protector crowd, even if nobody has worn a pocket protector in 20 years. I’m pretty much a walking stereotype. Thus: Sinking feeling.

I love me some old science-fiction, but sometimes there’s a little bit of the ol’ “Missed the mark” when predicting things far in the future.

For example, in 1990’s “Phule’s Company”, a book set so far in the future that mankind covers all of observable space…

“The Port-A-Brain computer system was designed to be the ultimate in pocket computers. Its main strength was that it enabled the user to tap into nearly any database or library in the settled worlds, place an order with most business above a one-store retail level, or communicate directly with or leave messages for any business which utilized any form of computerized telecommunications, all without so much as plugging into a wall outlet or tapping into a phone line. What’s more the unit, complete with folding screen, was no larger than a paperback book. In short, it was a triumph of high-tech microcircuitry.

… but there was a small problem. Each unit cost as much as a small corporation, placing it well out of the financial reach of the individual and all but the most extravagant conglomerate executive officers; and even those who could afford one usually contented themselves to use the cheaper modes of data access, particularly since their job positions were lofty enought to allow them to delegate such menial tasks such as research and communications to lower echelon staffers. As such, there were fewer than a dozen Port-A-Brain units in actual use in the entire galaxy. ”

Mmm, expensive.

I put up Google Analytics on Friday, and now I have Weekend Potater Data to look at.

It’s pretty grim. 17 people, all weekend. It would almost be more effective for me to hand-deliver the SIZZLIN’ HOT POTATER CONTENT, perhaps via snail-mail.

The one saving grace is that 89% of the traffic is “Direct” – so the people who do come to the site know the name. potater.com is just so darn memorable. Good domain name. Potater potater potater.

Unrelatedly, me and Kristen finally handed 9-7’s ass to it, 3-coins-and-all. Take THAT, vile level. Now it’s just gathering the star coins in World 8 and one last Star Road level and we are done-and-done, entirely co-op.

This is the most hateful level I have ever encountered in any Mario game.

The alternative name for monkeypatching is hilarious.

This Kleptones CD is fantabulous, if a bit old. Seriously, download it. DO IT NOW.