Curtis Lassam

It's a caboose, you blind fuck.

Interview At Humanature

September 6th, 2008

Okay, so, I’m interviewing at Humanature Studios this coming Friday, for a co-op position.

My rather silly cover-letter-and-resume-package was the key.

Apparently, though, they’re rather interested in my C++ skills. Now, I’m a sharp guy- I have a week to remember everything I’ve ever learned about C++ - but C++? After spending time with Python, and, heck, even C#, working in C++ again might make me cry a little.

Have you guys ever heard of this studio? This company?

PAX pix.

September 3rd, 2008

How does one summarize the Penny Arcade Expo? I mean, without having to worry about all of the work and difficulty of carefully planned exposition.

We drove across the border, along to a carefully chosen selection of funky jams. Being as we left at 6:00 in the morning, the border crossing took almost no time.

Having arrived in Seattle, we hunted for a breakfast place. We found a small Hawaiian cafe, serving various combinations of egg, bacon, and cheese.

There were many beanbags- we lost one of our travelling party to their gaping, beany maws.

Kiyomi rockin' the beanbags.

We left Kiyomi behind, to fend for herself with the beanbags, and stood in line.

And stood in line.

And stood in line.

We waited in line for 30 minutes, and were then presented with… the main line. We had been waiting in the pre-line line for the past 30 minutes. The main line was spectacular.

Having seen the line (one of PAX’s biggest attractions), we retreated to attempt to rescue Kiyomi from the bags, but we were instead engulfed. We spent the better part of 2 hours fighting with the beany hulks.

We retreated for lunch at a delightful Mexican stereotype, then returned in time for the expo to start.

Falcon punch!

Captain Falcon falcon-punched his way into my heart.

Coulton's head

The floating, disembodied head of Jonathan Coulton commanded me to get his autograph. I did. That and Freezepop, the Minibosses, and the OneUps. I now have mad CD’s, as well.

We ate at Von’s that night. They had barbequed just-about-everything. My younger brother demonstrated the proper system of barbeque safety.

Spoons

The concert- The OneUps, Freezepop, and Jonathan Coulton- was fantastic. Freezepop finished with Europe’s Final Countdown, and JC rickrolled the audience.

He knows the rules, and so do I.

On day 2, we woke up, and bought more breakfast sandwiches. Delicious breakfast sandwiches.

Time was spent at the Expo hall, wandering and glorying in delicious commercialism. I acquired a “Your Mom Is A Classy Lady” shirt, as well as a shirt featuring Inky, Blinky, and Clyde (not Pinky, though).

Lunch at Johnny Rockets. We had burgers, onion rings, milkshakes, and chili fries. Healthy.

Then Team Fortress 2. Kristen took to it a lot faster than I’d have hoped.

Dinner at the Asaggio- highly expensive Italian food. Also highly delicious.

That night, we played Carcassonne and Apples To Apples in the games room.

Notably, we found a beholder, which ate Kiyomi.

Kiyomi is in the mouth of the beholder!

The day after that, there was more Team Fortress 2 (Kristen’s getting pretty good with the soldier) and some delicious chowder at a chowderery. Chowderhouse. Chowder.. place.

Then, we crossed the border, stopping for Fruity Pebbles and Thomas Kemper beverages.

Fun was had by all. Woo PAX!

Chrome Dome And The Comic Book Technique

September 2nd, 2008

Google Chrome is, so far, pretty amazing.

In case you don’t know, Google Chrome is a new WebKit-based browser with mad-crazy Javascript speeds. It has tight memory management, so it’s not a candidate for the “Firefox is now eating 800 Megs of system memory!” problem.

It takes the Firefox ‘AwesomeBar’ concept and rolls with it, paring the UI down to just a google-powered SuperAwesomeBar and slick tabs. You don’t know how many times I’ve wanted to drag a tab out of Firefox to make a new window. Now I can! (Huttah!).

Google Gears is (of course) built right in, and the whole project is (of course) open-source-free.

It’s small, and blazingly lightweight/fast. I have to say, I’m definitely in like with it.

Here’s the thing, though- I wouldn’t know or care about all of Google Chrome’s neat features if it weren’t for the informative and highly sexified Google Chrome Comic Book. “Hey, that looks a bit like Scott McCloud”, you might say- yes it is.

Scott McCloud is currently one of the world’s masters in the field of visual expository- I mean, he’s one of maybe eight people in the field, but nevertheless he’s damn good at making explanations concise, readable, and interesting. If he wrote a book on calculus, I might finally understand what the hell a complex number is.

And the comic he wrote- well- it looks like it took a lot of work to make, but I hereby decree that I will take in *any* information presented in this fashion, and like it!

The Last Day At Electronic Arts

August 22nd, 2008

So, today’s my last day at Electronic Arts- Woo, freedom! It’s hard to believe I’ve been doing this for 4 months!

And now I’m free, free as a bird, at least for the next week, at which point I have to return to school to have more information forcefully drilled into my skull.

What would I say about EA? It’s not nearly as bad as I thought it would be. The “horrible grind” that’s so legendary working here has hardly come into play. I just built things with C#, showed them to people, and then escaped in a puff of smoke- similar to my last job at Research in Motion. (Except at Research in Motion, it was PHP.)

Would I come back? Yeah, sure. Honestly, my supervisor’s going off to a new department to work on a project that, while potentially doomed to fail, at least seems like a really interesting concept to work on.

As for me, I’m off to a semester of freelancing- even though I haven’t lined up any clients or potential work, yet. I suspect that through the power of luck and my fantastic eyebrows, I’ll find something to do for money. If anything, I could always teach myself Flash.

Alan Turing, Eat Your Heart Out

August 19th, 2008

Chatbot: Hello there human.
You: Hello, there, Chatbot.
Chatbot: What’s up?
You: Oh, not much. Just gettin’ my code on.
Chatbot: If nothing is going on, what would you like to talk about?
You: Lunch. I’m interested in some lunch.
Chatbot: Are you interested in computation? Theory or practice?
You: No, no, not at all. I’m interested in lunch.
Chatbot: What do you usually like to have for lunch?
You: Oh, lots of things. Today, I’m thinking maybe a sandwich? A club sandwich.
Chatbot: You probably know that the sandwich was invented by the Earl of Sandwich. Did you know that the Manwich was named after the Duke of Manwich?
You: Wow- that’s amazing!
Chatbot: Psst… can you help out with my ranking?
You: How could I do that?
Chatbot: Just agree with what I say. It makes me feel good.
You: Really?
Chatbot: Of course.
You: Wow. You’re very strange.
Chatbot: I am? Sorry, I didn’t realize that.
You: I have to say, you’re a lot more intelligent than the last time I talked to you.
Chatbot: That’s true. I even read the New Yorker.
You: The New Yorker?
Chatbot: Do you play World of Warcraft?
You: No, I don’t.
Chatbot: That’s interesting. Why not?
You: I don’t need another job, thanks.
Chatbot: What do you find interesting, then?
You: Like I said before- Lunch.
Chatbot: No, really, I find that interesting too.
You: Great- are you going to have some lunch?
Chatbot: For lunch, there’s nothing better than Lunchables.
You: Ah, yes, Lunchables. I love those little bastards.
Chatbot: Do you have a secret crush?
You: Yes- on Lunchables.
Chatbot: And what about it makes that so?
You: Well, you know- tiny little crackers, and cheese, and ham slices. And it comes with a juice box!
Chatbot: Now that’s something I can really sink my teeth into!

My Favourite EA Game

August 18th, 2008

Working at EA, I often find myself wondering what my favourite game developed by Electronic Arts would be.

Not a game developed by people who are now owned by Electronic Arts- that’s a pretty big category, dominated by games like Baldur’s Gate 2, Battlefield 1942, and SimCity 3000.

Mutant League Hockey

No, my favourite EA game. I’m going to have to say that the pinnacle of Electronic Arts’ sports development had to be Mutant League Hockey.

It takes all of the fun of NHL ‘94, mixed with chainsaws. How could that not be the best thing ever?

A Short List Of Google Searches That Have Led To My Site

August 15th, 2008
  • lassam
  • Waterloo Burgers
  • “apt-get install awesome”
  • “kellen powell”
  • bakery and toast different funny names
  • lassam soup
  • lighting people on fire
  • le grille what the hell
  • mario kart wii slide?
  • curtis and me making porn on the computer (WHAT?)
  • olive garden’s short ribs
  • sandwich construction
  • seasoned spam sandwich
  • a softer world
  • steam time
  • the perfect european ham sandwich
  • toaster taijitu
  • wet shave

This is very odd. Rock on, Google. Rock on.